A new kind of SDG
Today we discussed how we could create a safe atmosphere where we can share feelings, explore ideas, and really connect with each other. We also discussed opening the meetings up to new people that want to join in. We will be trying a new kind of meeting next week and the following week the group will be open to anyone that's interested.
We have run into some obstacles in our first few meetings and I want to ask for feedback from anyone who reads the blog.
First of all, the approach to discussing ideas that we hold sacred has been difficult. How do we discuss these things without getting into a mode of debate. How do we avoid trying to convince anyone else that what we know is right; how do we discuss without making anyone feel wrong?
Secondly, we have felt a lack of connection with each other at the meetings. How do we create a more loving atmosphere where we can connect with each other. Ideally we want everyone that attends to leave the meeting feeling that they are respected and loved no matter the differences of opinion.
Last, we want to create a listening for everyone that attends. A real listening where everyone is truly heard. How can we facilitate listening?
Any ideas are welcomed and we will experiment and find something that works. Those of us that attended today are commited to creating an atmosphere of love, openess, safety, and listening. We want to find edification in the love we have for each other and have an element of inquiry and discovery. No question is out of bounds but we need to have boundaries that allow for mutual respect.
This can be daunting. The issues that we're discussing can be very emotionally charged, but we're trying to keep these emotions in check so nobody gets hurt, at the same time we want our emotions to be open so we can feel a spiritual connection with each other.
If anyone has had experiences or ideas with these issues, please share.
We have run into some obstacles in our first few meetings and I want to ask for feedback from anyone who reads the blog.
First of all, the approach to discussing ideas that we hold sacred has been difficult. How do we discuss these things without getting into a mode of debate. How do we avoid trying to convince anyone else that what we know is right; how do we discuss without making anyone feel wrong?
Secondly, we have felt a lack of connection with each other at the meetings. How do we create a more loving atmosphere where we can connect with each other. Ideally we want everyone that attends to leave the meeting feeling that they are respected and loved no matter the differences of opinion.
Last, we want to create a listening for everyone that attends. A real listening where everyone is truly heard. How can we facilitate listening?
Any ideas are welcomed and we will experiment and find something that works. Those of us that attended today are commited to creating an atmosphere of love, openess, safety, and listening. We want to find edification in the love we have for each other and have an element of inquiry and discovery. No question is out of bounds but we need to have boundaries that allow for mutual respect.
This can be daunting. The issues that we're discussing can be very emotionally charged, but we're trying to keep these emotions in check so nobody gets hurt, at the same time we want our emotions to be open so we can feel a spiritual connection with each other.
If anyone has had experiences or ideas with these issues, please share.
posted by paul at 10:54 PM
7 Comments:
Alright, here goes.
I haven't been able to quite put a finger on how I've felt about the ol' SDG. I guess the easiest way to put it is that it's nice, but it hasn't fed my soul. There could be a number of reasons for this, one of them being as simple as the fact that we hold it generally right when I'm rolling out of bed.
However, some of my gut reactions are a little more different. At times I felt like we've all been wanting to say something, but maybe we're not wanting to listen as much. Also, it kind of feels like every single one of us is in a very different place spiritually, ranging from myself in the "I have severe objections as to some social and historical aspects of the LDS church" to another person who might be in the "I don't know if God exists" way of thinking. Both are legitimate and valid, but there's a long distance to travel to have some common ground.
Another interesting factor is that since I know everyone in the group socially, I have some direct questions as to what may be said, and how it applies in that person's life. This could be seen as an attack if not taken in the proper context, and of course I don't want to offend.
Suggestions? I think we should make some aspects of it a little more casual and social. Maybe a campfire, maybe a nice dinner (I do like to cook), where we could break off and have one-on-one dialogue if we wanted, or not, if we so desired. Something to make it feel like less of a seminar or debate or town hall meeting... less churchlike, I suppose.
yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
Thanks James. I agree with the idea that we're coming from different places spiritually. I think we can all agree that it hasn't been a soul feeding experience and I think a more casual physical feeding might be the ticket for facilitating a soul feeding. I know it's hard for some of us to do a later time, but I think part of the problem has been overcoming the early morning groggy/grouchy thing too. I'm definitely into a later time and I think having a dinner is an excellent idea. Perhaps a dinner with an activity to help us connect afterward would work? Thank you for posting.
Not to argue against (becuase I like it) what James said, but in addition to - although completely different, I have another idea.
Was that a totally awkward sentance or what?
Anyway, I was just reading this article about a group of gay mormons who would meet together every week, and they each identified an issue either they personally had to deal with, or that they felt the church should deal with in some manner. After meeting a while to solidify their ideas and positions, they each wrote an essay addressing their issue, which was then critiqued for fine tuning by the rest of the group.
I don't know if we should go quite to that extent, but perhaps if we did want to write something out and get feedback, it could be a better situation for the missing listening factor.
Then again, it could end up being too much like presenting a talk at church. So I don't know.
I'm just feeling discouraged because I need a social, spiritual outlet, and I'm too closed to the idea of church right now.
wow, you are all working so hard and really trying to make it work. I'm proud of you. I'm impressed. I'm sorry I haven't contributed more.
Um, I also feel like maybe a prayer or invocation of some sort could improve things. Some sort of centering ritual, and some reminder for listening maybe.
Or maybe it just takes some time to settle into your rythym with this.
Maybe some incense, and a specific leader for conducting the meeting would help.
just brainstorming with ya!
Thanks Lumina!
So I thought again about the essay thing. The difference between the group in the article I was reading and us is that they had a specific goal, and wanted change: i.e. to educate the church on what it was like to be an active gay member, and to help the church recognize the damage it sometimes does and the good it could do.
So, I don't think essays would work, unless any of us have a targeted audience and a thesis to go from. But as a discussion, exploration group, I don't think it would benefit.
Do we want to just get together and feel the spirit? Do we want to create a safe place? Do we want to be able to talk out our feelings? I think yes to all of these.
The ONLY thing I have issue with is that I occasionally work Sunday evenings, (ok, only like 2 or 3 more times total) but more than that, I usually spend Sunday evenings with family. Now that I suddenly have lots of family in the area, there's almost always some sort of family dinner for someone's birthday on a Sunday evening. As much as I really need to find/create some sort of spiritual support group to replace the one I've ceased to find in the the LDS church, family is still what's it's all about for me.
(I would sometimes be able to convince my mom to skip out on "church duties" to spend time with me. Family IS central!)
Anyway, are we still getting together this Sunday? Still early? I can do a little later, but not after 5.
I would like to stick to the noon time at least this week. Let's discuss changes for the future.
I love how much time and energy you guys are putting into this! I wish I were there to help! I have no idea what your format is now, but here are some thoughts.
I know this is cheesy, but what if you all were to discuss personal spiritual successes in addition to struggles? Kinda' like starting out on the positive with a forum of gratitude and love... then moving into the tricky stuff.
And I like Lumina's ritual idea a lot. Maybe you could end with it. Sort of like at the end of yoga, how we all end on "namaste." It takes you back to a good place. Maybe those are useless ideas, but who knows. Let me know how it progresses!
Post a Comment
<< Home