Staying true
Last spring, after a family reunion, I was discussing the church with my sister, Ginny, and her husband, Craig. They are not members, although my sister grew up in the church. Her husband has deep respect for members, and they are both very spiritual... although their beliefs do not usually coincide with church teachings.
After a heated discussion with my oldest (and very apostate) brother, Ginny and Craig wanted to know why I choose to be a member of a church that I question and disagree with. I talked about my faith, and how I don't think I'll ever leave the church... and Craig said something that has stuck with me. He said, "It's the people who question and disagree with parts of their religion, but remain faithful to it, that I respect the most. That takes work. It's easy to be a member of something if you believe everything about it." Kristin said something that ties it all together nicely, and I thank her for that:
"For people who still believe, to step outside the paradox by leaving the church is not a viable option, because they aren’t being true to their belief. It is for these people that finding a resolution within the paradox is necessary. I think that the people who stay in the church because of their belief and try to catalyze changes because they think the status quo is not right are people who are acting with the utmost integrity."
So I thank you, Kristin, and I thank Craig and Ginny, for those words.
After a heated discussion with my oldest (and very apostate) brother, Ginny and Craig wanted to know why I choose to be a member of a church that I question and disagree with. I talked about my faith, and how I don't think I'll ever leave the church... and Craig said something that has stuck with me. He said, "It's the people who question and disagree with parts of their religion, but remain faithful to it, that I respect the most. That takes work. It's easy to be a member of something if you believe everything about it." Kristin said something that ties it all together nicely, and I thank her for that:
"For people who still believe, to step outside the paradox by leaving the church is not a viable option, because they aren’t being true to their belief. It is for these people that finding a resolution within the paradox is necessary. I think that the people who stay in the church because of their belief and try to catalyze changes because they think the status quo is not right are people who are acting with the utmost integrity."
So I thank you, Kristin, and I thank Craig and Ginny, for those words.
posted by Stargirl at 9:51 AM
7 Comments:
I thank you too.
ryan, i'm glad you've found a path that you love. i always feel for ya when i read your posts. i don't think anyone means what they post here as a personal attack and sometimes i worry that you might take it that way. you are loved and so are your opinions.
i think that's great that you've found a pattern of pride in The Book of Mormon that seems to teach you and move you.
for me, the church (and most other churches and spiritual formats) is about love. and i still have yet to truly register what it all means. but i'm dedicated to findinig solace in my soul.
i loved this original post. it made me feel grateful to be heretical.
Ryan, I feel like I've been misunderstood. My post was not about not following or believing God. Quite the opposite!
I think lots of people forget that the church is not a solitary organization. It is built upon people and relationships... and as you've experienced, that leads to hardships, trials, and misunderstandings. God knows this, and he also knows that this is how we grow and mature. We cannot become more like Him if we do not experience love, and fear, and mistrust, and pleasure, and independence, and conformity. There is no way you can learn much about the world if you have only a relationship with God or Christ and no one else... and we're on this earth to learn about it. I do not mean to offend, but your words are reminiscent of those who protest Darwin exhibits and refuse to teach the theory of evolution in classrooms. They are afraid of what's out there, that their own faith my be shaken. God and Christ are not the only things out there to believe in. I believe that patience and unconditional love are the two most important things in a relationship. I've gathered as much from the scriptures, but I wouldn't KNOW it if I had not had experienced relationships that had failed or succeeded. God can tell us everything that we need to know to become a god, but we don't really KNOW anything until we've practiced and experienced those things... and you can't do that without trying things out for yourself and learning and failing and crying and laughing and judging and being judged and hurting and flying and feeling what human emotion feels like when brought on by another human. God urges us to discover all of these things. It is the only way to truly become like him. He went through the same things. And you know what? Even though the laughter and love is speckled with crying and pain, it's all worth it, every bit.
Love can be difficult if we make it that way.
I have continually been allowing myself to behave in a manner that pushes love away from me. It's hard for me to accept love. It's scary as Hell.
Ryan, I know you were venting, and I'm so glad you feel comfortable enough with us to see that side of you! See... you might actually trust us more than you think! :) But as for me, I know I love God. Sometimes, though, it's even hard for me to recognize His love. So when you call out the doubt on this board, it likely has very little to do with doubt in the power of God. Maybe it has more to do with doubt in our capacity of understanding things. Quite possibly even understanding our own roles in this world.
Personally, I don't think what I'm dealing with is doubt. I struggle. It has nothing to do with a lack of believing in God. It's more a lack in my own skills to love and to be loved. It's unfortunate. But I'm seeking help and am learning skills to improve it.
I believe we're here not only to understand the Lord's love for us individually but to learn how to love each other in spite of everything.
I can certainly relate to your fear of others. But other people are God's children too... so I guess we just have to deal with it and learn how to love them... and how to let them love us. It's no simple task! But what a great challenge that's been presented!
So when you say that Heavenly Father provides us with love that no one else can, I want to scream! Yes, that's true. But I refuse to continue living my life in a manner that separates myself from others. I mean GOD PUT US HERE TO DEAL WITH OTHER PEOPLE. If not, we'd each be on islands. So even though no one else can love us the way the Lord can, we can try and be reflective of His love, embrace it, and try to give and receive it. We can learn how to recognize glimpses of God and goodness in other people.
Hey, I know I'm preaching to myself WAY more than you. At least you were first to admit your challenge of loving others! See how brave you are?
Amen, Tamara! Well put.
Stargirl, thank you. Thank you for your post. For sharing. Simply.
I feel that it's easier to live and deal with pain if you focus on the good that people bring, and believe they're worth it before you even meet them. Half of what happens to you is the direct result of your own expectation... believe me, I've learned the hard way!
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